Project 365.

i’m ready.

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference. 
Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
Taking, as He did, this sinful world 
as it is, not as I would have it; 
Trusting that He will make all things right 
if I surrender to His Will; 
That I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him 
Forever in the next. 
Amen.

—Reinhold Niebuhr

Dear God, 

Thank you so much for sending me to Newsong Retreat this year. I know it wasn’t a random act of chance - you sent me there for a reason and a purpose. I don’t think there’s any other place that I could’ve gotten my prayer requests answered so perfectly. I truly felt your touch there. Thank you especially for sending Pastor Howard… I don’t know how you knew to pick the perfect person to truly connect with me and deliver your Word in exactly the way i needed to hear it. Needless to say, i was truly blessed… and it only affirmed my faith. 

I just wanted to say that I’m sorry… 2011 was definitely the year where we had a shaky relationship because of the hardships you put me through… but looking back, i realize now that it was only your way of strengthening me. i definitely struggled a lot, but its cause you knew i had too tender of a heart. in order to survive this world, i need to be stronger. but turning away from you was definitely not how i should’ve responded. i think i wouldn’t have suffered quite so hard and long if it wasn’t for that. i truly am so sorry. but even when i was going through that dark time… i still felt empty. living my life that way was still unsatisfying, and i just want to thank you for letting me realize that and taking my hand and leading me back to you this past month.

Now i think i’m ready to say that i want to continue walking the path of Christ with you Lord. i know by saying that, it will not be easy. i’m going to have to make a lot of sacrifices, and go through a lot of hardships. i might have to do things i don’t want to do, and say no when i so desperately want to say yes. i can already tell it’s going to be so hard to forgive some people i will hate, and be defiant to the ones who will want me for the wrong reasons. but God, i know it’s going to be worth it. i know it’ll be worth it cause all the false pleasures in the world, should i choose to succumb to it, will amount to absolutely nothing. in 50, 60 years… it will literally have done zero good for my life. i can’t even say it’ll have been good for the memories, for what good are memories when i’m going to die soon anyways? instead… i know that only You are going to bring me eternal pleasure and happiness. you love me so much and you’re only doing this for me cause you want what’s best for me. “in the end, you are the only permanent thing in the midst of all the temporary pleasures life has to offer me.” i truly, truly do believe that. 

So God, “Please grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and wisdom to know the difference.” i know i’m not a superhero and i can’t fix everything, but please bless me to not only transform my life, but others as well. i want to make a positive change in people’s lives so desperately and i know i can only do that through you. and when times get tough, please bless me to take another step, cause that’s one step closer to getting closer with You. 

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

God… in the end, i just want to be with you. (: we’re gonna make it big in 2012 together <3